about me…

Then late January 2018, my body broke.  Now, not only was I experiencing all these crazy symptoms, but I couldn’t walk and my body shook with awkward repetitive movements causing me to twitch.  My brain would say walk but my feet would not move.  I would get “stuck” mid- stride which would cause panic and worsening episodes.  What was happening?   

The summer before all the symptoms started, I had been  asked to speak on “Enduring Hope” at a Women’s Conference in Prescott, Arizona at the end of April.   I quickly and excitedly accepted. Because of my love for teaching and studying the Bible, this was right up my alley.  I enjoyed bringing God’s Word to life in a meaningful and practical way plus the fellowship with the  ladies  was a beautiful added bonus.

However, after I said “yes,” I had this strange, God-sent nudge that I would not be the speaker. Instead, I felt as if God’s master plan had someone else in mind. In fact, He even gave me a girl’s name.  She was a former student who had spinal bifida, a chronic life-long illness that had caused her to face  over 18 surgeries  that God had chosen as her “thorn”.    

But instead of listening to that still, small voice, I trudged forward. 

Basically, I told the Lord, “What, no, God, I got this!!”  

Soon afterward, I realized this nudge was accurate.  Over those next few months I got sicker and sicker.  I ended up getting down to about 75 pounds.  I was skin and bones.  I could barely walk let alone concentrate on planning for a retreat.  I finally gave into the Lord and called my friend.  With tears streaming down my face, I told her that there was no way that I could do the retreat.  I felt horrible backing out 2 months before the event, especially knowing all the planning that goes into preparing for the sessions.  But then I heard that whisper again.  “Contact Adri…”. I asked my friend if I could reach out to a girl that God put on my heart.   I tried to explain that I believed God already had it planned out that she should be doing the retreat instead of me. 

It was then that the miracle unfolded.  At first, I sent her a Facebook message and never got a reply.  Then we played phone tag, and I was almost about to give up when I just decided to send her a lengthy message explaining everything, from my sickness to my request.  I gave her the dates, location and theme.  Then came the reply… 

 “Oh my goodness…thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit, Shelley.  You will not believe this…I have actually been in the process of making plans to be IN PRESCOTT, AZ that exact weekend to visit a friend.  I’m pretty sure this is confirmation that God wanted you to contact me!!  (Shocked emoji!). “

What? How?  We spoke on the phone that evening.  What was even more amazing was that Adri’s friend had to back out from the plans they were making which meant that weekend was completely open.  She was just about to cancel the ticket when she got my message.  I 

could not wrap my mind around what just happened.  

What were the chances that God gave me her name and that her plane ticket was already purchased.  That it was for that weekend exactly and not only that state, but city and town!  And I neglected to tell you that she already had written on the topic already and assured me that she had plenty of material to use.   

After I got off the phone, I cried and cried.  Did this really happen?  I realized that I had just experienced the mind-blowingly, detailed, and personal miracle that I had requested. 

You see, for many years, my walk with the Lord was measured by how people perceived me.  If I was well-liked, then I knew I was on the right track.  I also lived by an organized set of dos and don’ts.  If I did them, then I was righteous and therefore close to God.  If I didn’t, I was a horrible person and; I would beat myself up for a while before starting the process over again.  But by God’s grace, He chased me down.  What do I mean by that?  The journey  I began as a Christian turned into this incredible, living and active relationship.  As I began to step out in faith, the Lord began to show up in miraculous ways that would drive me to my knees in worship.  Jesus HAD to be real.  He had to be!  With each circumstance, there was another breakthrough.  Another “ah ha” moment.  Another detail that would prove his presence not only in my life but also in the lives of others.  I could see glimpses of His master plan in action.   

After this miracle, two themes permeated my heart as I sat in awe of what happened.  The first one was that there was a God in heaven that saw me and my sickness even before I did.  He was in control.  Period.  Not only had He already taken care of the retreat way back in the previous summer, but He was also taking care of me amidst all of my uncertainty at that time.  

 Secondly,  I am like a caged lion. I want to proclaim – no, I need to proclaim, from the tallest mountain to the deepest valleys.   The valleys of sickness, of heartache, of death.  I serve a living and powerful God whose name is Jesus.  He is not just intimately involved in my life, but He is also a God for all people.  All He desires is our trust.  A trust that starts with accepting the gift that He gave to us on the cross.  We are sinners, and there is nothing we can do to earn a place in heaven, nor is there a thing we can do to earn His love.  

But, if we confess our sins, if we acknowledge Him as our Lord and Savior, then he opens his arms wide.  As John 20:31 proclaims, “But these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” Walking with Jesus has transformed my life, and I wanted you to hear my story.   Please know that I am here if you want to talk more about this journey.  Email me.  I hope you can find Jesus as I did, and I hope my story may encourage you!  I believe scripture is alive and true.  Grab  a Bible.  Start in the book of John.  You will not be disappointed! 

Edited by JaeAnn Hines