An Unworthy Pilgrim

“An Unworthy Pilgrim confronted

with the Majesty of Her God”

A Reflection on Psalm 86

By Shelley M. Reed

I woke up having a ping pong match in my mind.  Anxiety because of my to-do list.  Worry for my children.  My heart heavy for friends and family battling intense burdens.  I dragged myself out of bed, sat at my desk, opened my Bible, and the Lord brought me back to Psalm 86, a psalm I studied a few years ago.  Not planned but ever so timely.  

David cried to the Lord. 

I cried to the Lord …

Incline your ear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.

Lord, I can’t.  I just can’t.  I see all the obstacles.  I have so many fears.  I am frail.  I am so human.  I fail daily, hourly.  

Preserve my life, for I am godly

Save your servant, who trusts in you

Lord, I am trying.  I am trying to trust.  To trust you with my husband and kids.  My family and friends.  My calling.  My job.  My finances.  My health.  My future.  All of me.   I desire so much to be the woman of God you want me to be, so the world may see that you are real.  I desire to be close to you and you to be close to me.  I desire intimacy.  I desire you and you alone.  Nothing else.  

Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.

Lord, hear my desperate prayer.  Here I am…the girl you created.  

This is WHO I AM… a despondent human trying so hard but a mess most of the time.   

I catch myself so often trying to seek satisfaction in something or someone else.

Then my heart asks this question yet again to you Lord, 

“So why should I go to you and no one else with all of these needs?”  **  

The answer…sitting in front of me.  My Bible open to Psalm 86.   

You have reminded me so often but I forget so often…THIS IS WHO YOU ARE!  This is the God I serve…

I read David’s explosion of praise to His God.  He reminds himself.  He reminds me.  

We blurt the words out in unison.

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, 

abounding in steadfast love to all

who call upon you.

There is NONE like you among the gods, O Lord,  

nor are there any works like yours.

All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, 

and shall glorify your name.  

For you are great and do wonderous things;

YOU ALONE ARE GOD.

Then David did something difficult.  

He could have gotten angry and embittered with how hard life was at the moment, but instead, he SURRENDERED. 

 And again…I surrender crying out to you, my God…    

Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth.

Unite my heart to fear your name

His request was for one focus.  A heart undivided for Him and Him alone.  

My request right now is for one focus.  A heart undivided for You and You alone. 

Then David unleashed a song of thanksgiving and praise to his GOD. 

So I unleash a song of thanksgiving and praise to you, my GOD!

I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.

Oh Lord, my Adonai, I surrender.  

Teach me.  

Give me an undivided heart to fear your name alone.  

In all my mess, I choose you.  

Help me to remember who it is that I serve.  

A God who is majestic.  

A God who is above all.  

A God who does wonderous things.  

A God full of steadfast love for me who alone deserves the glory. 

**This question was posed by a preacher named Rory Mosley of First Baptist Church of Spur, TX as I listened to his sermon on this passage.  I loved this question. My writing was his outline.    It was an awesome reminder of our frailty compared to the incredible God we serve!